My wife has recently gotten me to read a book on marriage, as if we need it, as our marriage is perfect…ha, ha…hmmm….so anyway, I’ve started reading it and I am absolutely gobsmacked. The author is Mark Gungor and it is called, “Laughing your way to a better marriage.”
Now, I already knew our mindset is Greek thinking etc, as opposed to a Hebrew mindset, which actually, Aboriginal people in Australia have more so. (for example, a sacred sight is far more valuable to them than to the westerner who only thinks of money and is willing to rip up the land in mining to get it. To the Jews, the ground where the Temple was, is a sacred sight. If they had a Greek mindset, they wouldn’t care where the Temple was built, they would rebuild it elsewhere. In the same way, if Aboriginal people had a Greek mindset, they would be digging around for gold as well, forgetting about the sacredness of the land…of course, I’m not saying either that Aboriginals and Jews are the same either, they are unique, like everyone – but they do have similar mindsets, as opposed to the Greeks, where westeners get their mindset.)
With that little lesson in whatever out of the way, let’s talk about the dreaded marriage book my wife is forcing me to read…
So, where was I? Gobsmacked, that’s the word. I have discovered in the first chapter of Mark’s book that the very idea of a soulmate is absolute garbage and is the reason for many divorces. That’s no exaggeration! Again, I was gobsmacked ok, let me tell you what he said…
According to Greek mythology, man once had four arms, four legs and one head with two faces. They were basically two people in one. Seeing this and fearing that the authority of the gods would be compromised, the Greek god Zeus decided to split each person in half, condemning them to a life of searching for their other half – otherwise known as their “soul-mate.” This was meant to keep men too busy from meddling in the affairs of the gods, as they went on the search for perfect love.
This has been ingrained into our very culture, and especially in our churches. The world talks about finding your soul-mate, and the church talks about finding “the one” God has for you. Both are one and the same and is a load of garbage. God does not have the “right one,” for us…but there is a right kind of person for us. That is a person who is a “believer,” and it is up to us to marry the person who is right for our faith. But whoever we marry, just because we go through hard times, it doesn’t mean suddenly, we made a big mistake.
What got me is that the very idea of finding a soul-mate says that you’d be less happy if you’re not married to your soulmmate, or “the one,” and that if your marriage doesn’t work, then oh well, you obviously haven’t found him/her yet. It is a wordly license for separation and divorce.
So many marriages splitting up just because they’re not happy. Mark challenges the reader that we have mixed our faith with myth! We somehow feel our lives will be complete and fulfilled when we have both God AND “the one” God chooses for us. But this is so wrong. Only God can fulfill us! We live and move and have our being in Him, and Him alone. In His presence is fullness of joy…not anyone else! The very idea also, that God has a special someone just for you, is totally selfish. God did not create another human being just to satisfy you. I seen a quote on Twitter once, where it said, “lust’s desire is to get – but love’s desire is to give.” In a healthy marriage, both husband and wife are called to give to satisfy the other – not get to satisfy yourself. That’s why marriages suffer…and that’s probably why my wife wants me to read this book!!!
Some real food for thought I tell you. I have seen the DVD to Mark Gungor’s seminars before, but gee, reading the book is better I think…I highly recommend it!